Friday, November 12, 2010

Insert foot in mouth!

I had to open my big mouth and be optimistic? My doctor called me Thursday at work. Things have gone from bad to worse...My body is not responding to any of the drugs. My cyst is bigger, there is endo and scar tissue present, I still have fibroids, and there is fluid around my ovary. Oh this isn't the worse part, my uterus lining is STILL thickening and I have to have a D and C on Thursday. They fit me in right away which is good because my doctor said I will start bleeding again. I told her how much pain I was in last time. My doctor is going to call my RE (IVF doctor) to discuss what is going on and what the next step should be. My doctor also insisted that hubs and I both come in together to meet with her before the surgery. (not a good sign) I can't help but start preparing myself for the worst. The fact is things need to be a certain way to even try IVF. And in an IVF cycle it can be canceled at the drop of a hat if something just isn't right or a woman's body isn't responding properly. Yesterday I was very depressed for most of the day, lots of tears at work all while I was still in shock from everything happening so fast. The last thing I want right now is another surgery to even "prepare" my body. I think hubs is sad seeing me go through all of this. When I can home from work I just about lost it. Hubs came home and I lost it again. Today I feel numb. ...I can't help but wonder if my chances of ever having a child of my own are over. And why do none of my posts have the paragraph indent???? This is irritating me, haha!

3 comments:

Sarah - PS Mom Reviews said...

Hang in there. I hope that everything turns out OK. I know it's discouraging now, but you'll get through this.

Annie said...

(Hugs) I feel the same way about being optimistic. Dare to hope and you're practically guaranteed another beating, right? So sorry you've gotten more awful news. Hoping it all turns around for you SOON!!

The Griffiths said...

Don't give up! I'll be praying for you in these next days/weeks!