Second meeting with social worker - DONE

This is a photo of all the books we have already for the baby! Hope they like to read!

We had our second meeting with our social worker the day before my surgery! It went really well! We are very excited about how well everything is going so far. We discussed our autobiographies we had written. She just had a few questions on things she found interesting or things she needed more information on. I was worried she would just focus on everything negative but she didn't.

We really like our social worker! She just has so much wisdom and you can tell she loves what she does. She tells lots of stories and gives parental advice that I find refreshing. The next step is our parenting classes the middle of February. With as well as my surgery went I am relived and feel confident that I will be able to sit through them. We also have to do a few online classes.

My recovery is going well. I feel better every day. I move around more on my own and I am less dependant on my husband. I couldn't have done this without him though, he has been WONDERFUL!!! I have had a few visitors which helps the time go faster. Yesterday I went to the doctor to have my stitches out and I was EXHAUSTED when I came home. That was enough excitement for me!

We're excited about the future!

Surgery went well!

Thanks for all of the thoughts and prayers, THEY WORKED!!! They were able to do the procedure laproscopically with robots. It's absolutely amazing technology. Instead of one large cut and 6 smaller cuts I just have the six smaller, this is HUGE for recovery! I still have to remember that my insides went through major surgery. When they opened me up they could only see endometreosis. It took them 4 hours just to cut enough out so they could even get to the uterus. My surgeon said I grow scar tissue like cement (not sure that is good). The endo had EVERYTHING connected again, bladder, intestines, stomach, so everything was disrupted and had to be cut around. (this was better with the robots because they can get closer to organs). My uterus was enlarged, my left ovary enlarged with an endo cyst and my right tube had an endo cyst connected to it. This only confirms this was the ONLY solution and that IVF was NOT an option! I am home from the hospital already (makes me a little nervous) but I just made myself a nest an packed myself in the couch with blankets and pillows. My husband is being wonderful as usual. I now have to wait for the signs of hot flashes so they know that they got all the endo. I am SO lucky to be surrounded but sch a wonderful support system. I KNOW all the prayers helped! Thanks for reading!

Surgery

My surgery is Friday. If I would have posted early last week it would have been about how anxious I was! However; Thursday I started bleeding again, not my period but HEAVY bleeding like in November before my D and C. I had to stay home from work and could only take certain pain meds because it is a week before my surgery. It just confirms that things have gotten SO bad and that this surgery is the ONLY solution. I guess God just wanted to remind me of that. At this point I just want it over, I am hoping it is the less invasive procedure, and I want to recover and move on. Big week, lots of emotions, lots of prayers!

Home Study

Well, the home study for adoption is underway! They weren't lying when they said it was a lot of paperwork! So far we have turned in our first round of paper work, gotten physicals, gotten fingerprinted, and completed an online background check to be sent to the agency. We had one meeting with our social worker. She is wonderful. She has been doing this for 30 years and you can just tell how much she loves it. Just when I was all excited because I had turned in all of our paperwork she gave us more. The next step is an autobiography. We have a 5-page document of single spaced questions to answer. Hubs and I are diligently working on them (we each have our own) and turning it into a competition of course! For any that have gone through this what is your advice for the home study portion of adoption? What did you find useful or not useful?

Hoping 2011 is THE YEAR!

I am sure many of my IF friends could say the same thing! And I TRULY hope 2011 is the year for ALL of us. Even if it just means being at peace with our decisions. I wish everyone joy, fortune, happiness, and of course babies!

Recap of 2010: February 3 - laparatomy - ran into complications, endo was much worse than suspected, surgeons managed to save a portion of my last ovary, in the hospital 5 days, recovery at home 5 weeks. (dropped by short term disability due to preexisting conditions)

March - started 6 months of crazy lady shots to stop the spread of endo

April - met with first IVF clinic, felt like a number, not personal at all, started to realize the financial implications of IVF and started to weigh the risks vs benefits.

May - met with second IVF clinic, felt much better and more optimistic, we were given a 40% chance that IVF would work

June - started on new insurance that would pay a PORTION of IVF drugs and possibly some procedures

July - last crazy lady shot, now just waiting for a "normal" AF and had to lose 10 more lbs

September - started to bleed, hmmm, must be really bad after being on lupron for 6 months? is this normal?

October - ok, bleeding for 6 weeks, VERY heavy, THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!!

October 22nd, my WONDERFUL friends through us a fundraiser for our IVF, we were SO blessed to have them help out with the financial burden we were facing

November 10 - ultrasound shows thickening of uterine wall and polyps

Nobember 18 - D and C (2 day recovery)

December 1st - Follow up with doctor. BAD NEWS. She consulted with the IVF clinic and they are not willing to even attempt IVF. There is too much fluid around the ovary, the ovary is still connected to the bowel, and the abnormal uterine wall would most likely not withstand an implanting egg. Hubs and I grieve the loss of our biological child. (we expected the news but it was very hard to hear).

December 15 - Attend orientation with adoption agency

December 20th - receive first portion of the adoption home study. Consultation with the surgeon who will do my hysterectomy and schedule it for Jan. 21

Have a WONDERFUL NEW YEAR!!!! 2011 is where it is at!!!