Monday, June 14, 2010
I am starting a blog, mainly for me - kind of like a diary. But if I write something that one person can relate to, that one person can get inspiration from, or if it gives one person a glimmer of hope; it is well worth it! I've wanted to be a mother pretty much since I was a child. I was always the one that played "mom" whenever we played house. I've always been the one "in charge" and "in control" of things. I never imagined that out of all my friends I would be the one to have fertility issues. For once I wasn't in control. I was married this year and my husband and I started TTC before we were even married. I didn't care if I was a pregnant bride. Children have always been in my future and they still are, now it's just a matter of how we are going to get there. One thing I have learned in life is that it does not always play out the way you planned it. But I am also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. It is that attitude that is going to get me through this process. Whether God blesses us with a child of our own or a child to adopt, it was meant to be and I will be grateful. There are many stages one goes through while trying to conceive; anger, jealousy, frustration, and disappointment just to name a few. There are times when I have felt very alone just because I don't have any other close friends going through the same thing. However, the reality is that we are not alone. Without giving too many boring details - I have suffer from endometriosis and ovarian cysts. I have had two laparotomys and have been told that IVF is our only chance to "conceive" a baby of our own. Thus begins our journey of infertility...this thing called IVF.