Expected to have Children

If I had a $1 for every time this past week I was asked when we were going to have children I would be able to treat myself to a pretty nice night out on the town! For some reason we came across several people we haven't seen in a while and who we aren't close enough to know what is going on. I don't think I should have to explain myself to everyone. I feel bad for couples who decide not to have children. I am sure that have they to answer to acquaintances all the time as to why they don't have children. After about a year of marriage or so, especially if you are closer to 30, you are expected to be expecting! I know most of those people who quizzed us about our fertility calendar don't have a clue what we are going through or they wouldn't have asked. But a person doesn't always know what others are going through. Think before you speak and pry about something so personal. There are no rules in life that say you have to get married, you have to have kids, you have to have a dog and a cat and a white picket fence. That's what makes the world interesting.

Support Staff

In any facet of life it is important to surround yourself with positive people who add happiness to your life. It is my belief that with a good support system you can make it through just about anything - that doesn't necessarily mean it will be easy but EASIER maybe. I am truly blessed with wonderful friends, family, and an incredible husband. Even though most of my friends don't understand what I am going through they are supportive and always have an open ear. My husband doesn't always show his emotions; like most men. But I know it affects him too. We are forced to be there for each other - we are battling this together. I sometimes feel like it is my fault that we are in this situation and it angers him that I would even have the tiniest thought of feeling guilty. Lets face it, the woman has to go through hell during IVF. My husband has ultimately let me make the decision if I want to go through all of the unnatural hormone therapy, the rigorous schedule of testing and taking medications, and the emotional and physical stress on my body. It is his support and understanding that will eventually get us through this. Whether it be reaching out to a friend, family member, or researching on the Internet it is important that you have a strong support system. I am forever grateful for everyone that is there for me and I love you all!

Treat Yourself

I decided that I wanted to create something to symbolize my journey. I wanted a symbol of hope, love, inspiration, fertility, and faith. A friend of mine is very talented at designing beautiful, unique jewelry. I asked her to design something for me and this is what she came up with. I love it! She calls it "All I Ever Wanted."

Each part of the necklace has meaning. The rose quartz stones represent love and fertility. They are said to protect the mother during pregnancy and protect the unborn fetus from miscarriage. The turtle is a symbol of fertility, strength, perseverance, and female power.

I don't really care what it is but I think it's important you find something that is meaningful to you to "treat" yourself - anything that is going to remind you of your journey and give you inspiration.

In my never ending quest to stay positive I am convinced that it is so important to make sure YOU are your number one priority! So many times in life people get caught up in worrying about everyone else, about work, about family and friends; but they don't take enough time out to do something for themselves.

This piece of jewelry will symbolize much more than just any necklace sitting in my jewelry box. It will forever represent a time in my life where nothing was a "given." It will represent a range of emotions from sadness and hope to hopefully someday pure joy.

Thanks Tyne! Please visit her blog at TyneBoden Necklaces

It Just Isn't Fair

I don't want my blog to be whiny or to seem like I am always complaining; however, anyone struggling with infertility has had days where they feel it just isn't fair. With that said, I know that there are a lot of people going through a lot of worse things than I am right now and I am grateful for the things I do have. Unfortunately though, I feel the need to complain just a little bit! I am MORE than happy for all of my friends who are all WONDERFUL parents! However, it's the parents who I don't feel deserve to be parents that anger me! Parents who abuse or neglect their children do not deserve the privilege of being a mother or a father. Parents who don't know what birth control is, live off of welfare, and keep bringing child after child into poverty - that's who bothers me! Believe it or not one of the TV shows I watch is 19 Kids and Counting. They don't believe in birth control and believe that God will give them as many children as he wants them to have and can handle. Does this mean that God doesn't think I can handle children? They can have 19 and all I am suffering to have one or two in a lifetime! I know my husband and I will be wonderful parents and I just find it frustrating that people can get pregnant when they are too immature to have a child, when they are having a "one night stand," or when they are addicted to drugs and we can't get pregnant and bring a child into a loving, stable, providing home.

Crazy Lady Shots

Tomorrow I go for my 5th $600 crazy lady shot! I call them my crazy lady shot because it is supposed to make your hormones go crazy and cause hot flashes. So far the side affects have been minimal. However, every time I go and get one I have to meet with my doctor to discuss how crazy they are making me! It's nice to see her though, she always asks where we are at in choosing an IVF clinic, etc. I like to believe that my doctor really does care if we have chosen a clinic yet. And I am sure that she DOES want the IVF to work for us! I don't really care if she is just giving me a line of bull because it makes me feel better knowing that she is looking out for my best interest. In a way these shots may be preparing me for IVF. I will get used to being even MORE of a pin cushion and it may soften the blow of the sticker shock for the IVF drugs. I mean $600? The needle IS pretty long but that's a monthly rent payment. Luckily insurance pays 80% because this is still considered treatment for my ovarian cysts. But all in all this all is preparing me for all those shots in the butt.